do it. create. walk and see. cut and paste. scratch and sniff.
do whatever you have to do to feed your soul.
this is my commitment.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

on vulnerability

Just a few tidbits of info before the meat and potatoes, here, folks.  I put out a question on my facebook page about what readers would like to read about here.  Yesterday, my post was in response to the question, "How do I get back to doing artwork after a looooooong time away?"  Today, I am writing on the subject of "vulnerability" per request.  
Tomorrow watch for my FIRST artist interview on "creative work habits."  Yippee and yahoo! on vulnerability...

We've all heard the quote, "Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken."  My initial impression of this quote is very superficial, fluffy and cliche, perhaps.  But give it some thought.  Seriously.  RIGHT NOW.

OK, I am also giving it some thought (again)...

I spent a lot of my life searching for who I was or who I wanted to be.  Perhaps if you are closer in age to me, this may be your story too.  Maybe not.  It was an interesting, very vague era (the one I was raised in).  At an early age (post childhood), I heard those voices that said, "you should", "you can't", "this is not enough", "you need to do THIS differently, better".  By the time I was in late adolescence,  I coped by rebelling (basically, throwing in the towel).  I was confused, angry and tired (already).  It wasn't until undergraduate school that I began to experience something different, possible hope.  What was literally a liberal arts education became a liberating experience.  At this point, I was still thinking of "should's" and "can'ts" of "not enough" and still trying to follow "the rules" (whatever the rules were).  What started to change, though, was that I was beginning to believe (again?) I had something to offer, I was beginning to start listening to something inside...

And then, "the real world" happened.  All of the sudden, school was over (for the time being) and all of the sudden, I had to figure out how to live in the world.  I had to "grow up".  At this point, "the rules" came back to haunt me ALL OVER AGAIN.

I think some of us can be easily deceived and think that the answers are out there somewhere, that someone else (that we haven't met yet) has them for us or that some experience (that we haven't had yet) is out there and needs to be experienced FIRST.  I'll tell you what: the only experience I needed to have is an experience with myself (my higher self, the one free of the "should's" and "can'ts").  This was an evolving process that took years and years (and is STILL unfolding ALL THE TIME) but, for me, it always came back to sitting in the quiet with myself (read more about the importance of this here) and trusting that wee voice that needed to speak and be heard.  When that wee voice first started speaking, I found it helpful to find peers who were on a similar path.  At this point the wee voices had a village of support (yeah, IT DOES take a village, my friends).

Now, even though, I consider myself a beginner, always learning more and more about myself, continuing to always need that village (and not apologizing for this at all, not ONE bit), I figure life is too short not to lay it on the line.  This is it.  This is what I am about. This is where I am heading (today).  I figure I have nothing to lose.  The more aligned and honest I am with myself, the more I attract people into my life who are choosing to live this way too.  

So, why not cut to the chase?  Why not get right to the core?  Why not put yourself out there?  Meet more people in your village!  They are waiting for you.  Take my word for it.

No comments:

Post a Comment