Really? How? This is difficult to explain but I'll take a stab at it.
On Thursday afternoon, a darkness washed over me. I had been truckin' along as per usual, and then, all of the sudden, my current life became immediately invisible to me. Everything was muted. There was a heaviness that immediately clouded any and every uplifting thing about life.
People ask me what triggers something like this. I believe I live quite consciously and have more than enough awareness regarding my triggers. I've learned when to take extra care of myself and when I may need to create an extra buffer of protection. But this feeling came on without a suggestive hint. And it remained heightened for 18 hours at least. Running anxiety to no end paired with an inability to breath deeply. ugh.
It wasn't until I entered a museum and experienced an exhibit on Friday that I witnessed my entire psychology (and physiology) change. In an instant. I immediately felt at harmony with myself and could easily breath again. In moments like this, I am moved to tears, grateful that the darkness has passed and I have, once again, returned to myself. Overcome with overwhelming gratitude, I had the sense to grab a hold of a docent and say, "Thank you, SO MUCH, for being here."
But I refrained.
But I refrained.
Just like taking a walk, journaling, spending time in nature (or with animals) has been a good remedy for me in times like this, so is viewing art. These experiences are never a guaranteed reset but they do have a higher success rate than anything else.
What was the exhibit I experienced that I found so moving? Robert J. Lang's exhibit at the Leigh Yawkey Woodson Art Museum. It took my breath away AND gave me breathing room simultaneously. What a gift. I may just have to send him a personal note.