just thought I'd beat my head against the wall for a couple of days (again) aka will I ever learn?
|fox in process, 24x36, acrylic on canvas|
If you've been following along for awhile, you already know this is part of my creative cycle. Why am I always the last to remember or be reminded?
I am such a beginner (see May 30th post on instagram / facebook). I actually always hope to be. It's my best mindset when considering my work as a painter.
The last two days I forgot I was a beginner, though. I spent two full studio days arguing with two different paintings. I argued for two full days! Who does that?
I was so disturbed, I consulted Peter just as he was about to drift off the sleep. Nothing like stewing in my own head until the 11th hour...
Peter said what I knew to be true. I was still in arguing mode (in my head) though.
My thoughts to his comments are included:
"Yeah, there was a lot of paint there."
"Maybe this isn't the week to paint."
<you mean, I need to have another one of THOSE weeks?>
"No, the last two days weren't wasted time."
"How about writing instead?"
<that isn't enough. there has to be something else.>
After a night of sleep, I woke up, remembering the agony awaiting me in the studio. Then I remembered my willingness to surrender my work for the week. I started working on another project and needed to reference old journals. When I was paging through them, I stumbled on an "old" idea.
Guess what THAT inspired? See image above.
Nope. Not wasted time.
I just needed to be reminded.
The creative force within me is not willed to work.
The creative force within me is granted a road to travel when I let go.
|with a flash of the tail, 24x36, acrylic on canvas, 1950.|