do it. create. walk and see. cut and paste. scratch and sniff.
do whatever you have to do to feed your soul.
this is my commitment.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

maintaining the inner momentum

It's the start that stops most people but for me, it's the on-going, repetitive steps that stop me.  The start is always full of momentum and possibility but when the momentum starts to wane, I start to stop stop stop.  It's at this time that I get distracted and derailed.  It's at this time that I lose faith and self doubt takes over.  And with one thought of self doubt comes one million more.

I recently read the book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin.  I realized that I "score" really well when I apply these strengths to my creative life, however, where I fail (and where I continue to fail - this is where failure goes awry) is with the last (number 13): They Don't Expect Immediate Results.  This is a tricky one because I really don't expect immediate results (I wish I expected more, actually) but, after two years of effort without a significant, giant (undefinable, monumental, lightning bolt) jump, I second guess myself.  And this is where those negative thoughts attack.  This is where I meet my crossroad.  Again.

Today, I am committing to not making this same mistake over and over again (number 8).  Today I want to have strength in the midst of, what I feel, is a lack of external momentum.  Today it is even more important that I find my momentum from within.  What is powerful, here, is what I choose to think.  I can either say it's not enough and let this thought system develop and grow or I can continue to do the best I can do with what I have at this very moment.

If I take what I have and "start" from here, I may actually break this repetitive pattern in my life.

Today, I am staking the other path at this particular crossroads.

I am in the process of receiving recommendations for a creative coach.  I am interested in working with someone who can support me through my inner, belief-bound behaviors and assist me in committing to myself, my vision and my day to day path.  Similar to how I coach others, I believe the more leaps we take from within, the more that is able to manifest without.

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