do it. create. walk and see. cut and paste. scratch and sniff.
do whatever you have to do to feed your soul.
this is my commitment.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

the home project

What is home?  I was recently contacted by a new friend (an old friend in soul and spirit) who has been inspired to collect stories of how we define home.  Interestingly enough, I gave this concept a lot of thought a couple years ago.  In fact, I think I can still find the journal (located in a bookcase close to where I am sitting now) and find my own self discoveries on the subject.

I grew up in the redwood forests and on the beaches of northern California.  I remember feeling most at home at Samuel P Taylor Park or in the natural "forts" I would create in the front yard of my childhood home.  As a college student and graduate, I lived in the mountains.   My home used to be the same mountain I climbed everyday with our dog, Stella.

After moving to Minnesota in the late nineties, I searched for my "new" home.  Having been seduced by such magnificence (ocean, mountain, tall tall tree), I longed and needed that same experience - here.    Five years ago (or six?) I found my place.  My husband and I discovered it by accident, actually, and we've been returning several times over the course of every summer.  We camp in a tent on the sandy beaches of Lake Superior.

Home is where I feel at one with myself, where I feel absolutely complete without a need for anything - else.

Sure, I have other places I call home.

My physical home in the city of Minneapolis is the only physical space where I have felt the complete ability to breathe.  This isn't the case, though, when I am outside in my backyard.  And yet, being the love-of-nature gal I am, there must be a remedy...

Without sounding cliche, my husband is home. I can be with him in any place and feel as though the idea of "home" has come with me.  We don't have to speak for hours on end.  There is a quiet understanding between us.  We can also laugh until our bellies ache.

Home can happen in an instant.  It can be an experience I share with another being that is never forgotten or can be taken away.  It doesn't have to even last that long.

My vocation is home.  When I am creating, (and this can be in a variety of places), I completely feel at home.

Being the book worm that I am and have been since I was nine years old, a good book can be home.  That doesn't mean it's easy to find one, though...

I am very sensitive to physical space and occasionally have experienced the feeling of being "homeless".  I remember when I was a teen, moving into a house rental with my family while we waited for our future home to be built.  I was always anxious in this space and felt very unsettled.  As an adult, I have done what I can to avoid the reoccurrence of these feelings.  For instance, I have been known to walk away from a hotel reservation after experiencing the physical space for only a few minutes.

I am more "home" now than I have ever been.  I suppose this is because my ultimate definition of home is experiencing authenticity within myself.  I choose the like for the company I keep.  Authenticity is such a breath of fresh air, a place where one can take deep breaths.

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