do it. create. walk and see. cut and paste. scratch and sniff.
do whatever you have to do to feed your soul.
this is my commitment.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

regarding "push back"

I don't know what you call it, but I call it "push back".  I didn't coin the term, but I've been noticing push back and have been referring to it as such for years.

This is what push back looks like for me:  I have a breakthrough (usually, an internal shift, something intangible and difficult to quantify) a breakthrough of life significance for me, something to celebrate!  And then...all of the sudden...there is a push back.  I get a parking ticket, something becomes lost or broken, I have an argument with my generous and loving partner.  Yeah, and these are just push backs of tiny proportion really (there are much bigger ones I experience too).

I was talking with a friend this morning and texting another, hearing about the push back in their lives.  I heard myself saying, "You don't have to do anything about the push back.  It is just a test to see if YOU REALLY WANT THIS.  Keep going.  You don't have to fight and argue with the push back.  All you have to do is acknowledge it and keep moving forward (one small step at a time)."

*Note to self here * I need to take this advice myself.  I have experienced some SERIOUS big push back this week.  It's just incredible, really.  And, HILARIOUS and absurd if I step far enough away from it.

When we have experienced an inner shift or transformation NOTHING can ever take this away from us.  The shift is there to stay if we want it to.  We may not be able to hear it, converse with it or feel it everyday but it IS there.  In times of push back it may seem more difficult than ever or of the lowest priority to take care of ourselves but self care in times like these is more important than ever.

I recently read Mark Fisher and a quote from one of his books that states, "Life seems to be designed as some sort of test.  When people show they can overcome obstacles and failures with unswerving persistence and faith, life seems to lay down its weapons of opposition, and fame and fortune appear, as if charmed by their vision and strength."

Gay Hendricks dedicates an entire book to push back in The Big Leap.  Read my thoughts on the book here (which reminds me, I still want to discuss the second half!  eeeek!)

In addition to seeing a red tailed hawk up close this week, just sitting in a tree, I also saw this heart in the sidewalk.  No matter how hard the push back pushes, these treasures still make themselves known.  And in the midst of push back, it's just our job to continue to notice them.

Have a GREAT weekend (push back or not) and if you experience yourself coming up against push back, take extra care.  Sip delicious tea, take a hot bath, watch a funny movie, listen to some good music.  You will thank yourself later.  I promise.


  1. Oh my goodness, I totally hear this! All through December and January I was making art every day (daily patterns), and January I really hit my stride and was making art I was proud of. I had a couple of bad days in early February, got completely sidetracked, and never really picked it back up again. It's so weird how when things really start going well, that's when the doubt creeps in. Thanks for posting this. I'm looking forward to a creative and productive March.

    1. Tricia, I KNOW! This cycle happens with me too. It's so much more manageable, I think, when we are conscious of it, though, and continue to move through it with baby steps. Thank you for your comments. It's great to hear from you here. I'll look forward to seeing what sprouts for you this March!

  2. Thanks for putting words (and images) to this phenomenon...tis the season for push back in my life, I guess. Or maybe it's been happening all along and I just now am aware of it. Either way, I'm grateful for your words, Kari!

    1. YAY, Liz. Love hearing from you here and appreciate hearing about your process. If you keep keepin' on, we ALL will. AWESOME.