do it. create. walk and see. cut and paste. scratch and sniff.
do whatever you have to do to feed your soul.
this is my commitment.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

sheer delight

So here I sit in sheer delight of all that awaits for me this weekend. I made the decision to spend this holiday alone, again, for no other reason but for myself. I LOVE, ADORE, TREASURE time like this. The only other time my inner being experiences this true inspiration and delight is when I am in the midst of a giant body of water or a tall mountain peak. It's super funny how foreign this is to almost everyone I know. They question my motives and doubt my conviction. I laugh at this (on the inside) knowing that this feels as natural to me as breathing. Thank God for breath! I've only been on holiday for 12 hours and counting but I have already made myself a small book where I can document these four sacred days, sat underneath my grandmother's afghan (I am underneath this now), drank two pots of REALLY GOOD coffee, hung my laundry on the line (can you imagine how wonderful it is going to smell when it's dry?), perused film trailers and have made a list of those that inspire me (so grateful to our film writers/makers for creating such bodies of work) and am currently listening to my favorite morning radio program on WUMB. This is the life. I could do this everyday and not tire. REALLY. I have tried it before.

People who know me well, know me for my squeals. I spontaneously squeal at things that give me pleasure (yes, OUT LOUD). Well, I am squealing on the inside and I am sure squealing OUT LOUD will happen this weekend as well. I am SO grateful for knowing myself so well and for the ability to honor what I need to survive and THRIVE. My only wish? People would trust this. I know I am a rare bird (but I don't feel like one, really). If the thought of what I am doing seems too far from any rationale you know, put yourself in my shoes: think of yourself alone today and think how this might feel for you (this is how doing what you are doing today would feel for me!!!!)

With creative expression being my primary language, I need a lot of space (physical, emotional and spiritual). I look forward to sitting in this space and seeing what happens (insert BIG squeal HERE)!

p.s. I just bought some original art that deeply moves me, feels expansive - SO grateful to experience these feelings and so grateful to artists for their ability to express
p.p.s. I just received the BEST text EVER from my best friend of over (do I dare count?) 27 years

Read more about introverts here and here

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