So here I am 5 days into my winter break and still recovering from the stomach flu as well as the most challenging cold sore I have ever had - to date. My equilibrium has been completely thrown off. I want so much to find my direction again. I feel lost. All I feel capable of doing is the next right thing: tiny little bits of pitter pattering around the house as an attempt to stay grounded. Yesterday, I paid bills from the couch and last night, I made this garland out of a selection of envelopes, a way of blessing their travels. I would really like to get in the studio today - just S-T-A-R-T but I feel paralyzed and SO uncomfortable - physically. I want to whine and possibly throw a temper tantrum and, although,
that might be a good tension release,
I still feel such gratitude.
I am SO grateful for:
my commitment to winter solitude (so far)
one complete body of work at the beginning of 2010 and an entirely different body of work to wrap it up
the opportunity to be on Lake Superior this new year (even if it can't be at Fitger's, our usual tradition)
the ability to pay our bills (for today)
my doctor (I had an appointment with her yesterday)
good food (even though I haven't eaten ANY of it - yet...)
Georgia O'Keeffe (revisiting a lot of reading on her lately - she always inspires)
my cat, Chester
my dog, Stella and her cousin, JT
hand strung garland
fun hatsCarole King and Really Rosie
my computer (I used to joke that she was my "best friend")
pillows and afghans and quilts and down comforters
a continuously lit Christmas Tree
a cozy couch
a youthful spirit
visualizations of the South Shore and the summer of 2011
a new found interest in drawing
my new "lap desk"
the original art I have in my home
I could keep going...
I think, instead, I'll head off to the studio...