how I feel

"stop tugging"
photograph
pinecones and wool thread

I feel an inner tug. This kind of tug does not suit my artist. This tug goes hard and deep and keeps telling me I need to "do something", "produce", "make the best time of", etc, etc, etc.

This "inner tug" is like a tennis match in my head. It says "Rest. Do nothing. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will be filled." The other player says, "Get in there", "Get at it", "Go do THAT", "What are you doing?"

For the record? I need to rest. I need solitude, quietness, comfort. I don't need noise, chatter, busy movement. I do this enough. I feel so tired but won't let myself collapse.

To surrender to the fatigue and re-fill. This is what I need.