slowly shedding "the shoulds"

In response to @laura.holway 's post : "On taking action from a place of desire and intuition versus 'should' or fear"

YES! YES! and YES!  Thank you, Laura Holway!  Amen, Sister!

This is about letting go of our old thoughts, systems and beliefs and opening up to something beyond our limited thinking/selves.

I have practiced letting go of "shoulds" consistently for the past year and in years prior, have experimented with both approaches in order to gather information.

First of all, for over two decades (yep, I am a slow learner), I have been working on identifying belief systems based on fear AND faith.  I have a habit of checking in on my motives before taking action. In order to have success here, I usually never make a decision on the fly.   

I believe that wherever one chooses to place their focus, more of this energy (whether that be fear OR faith ) is created.  

Personally, this doesn't mean that I do not take actions based on fear.  I am a constant work in progress.  What this means, however, is I am more aware of my intentions and where I'd like to place my focus.  If I have taken a wrong turn, I am much more able to readjust my sail than I have been in the past.

I also believe we are a fear based culture and having fears is far more habitual for us than having faith.  In other words, fear based thoughts are our natural default.

Therefore, practicing a faith based belief system requires much more effort and focus. 

What I have found regarding "the shoulds":

If I operate from a "should", I can hone in and realize, pretty quickly, that this should is based on fear.  If I operate out of fear, I am giving power to fear or a sense of lack.  I know from my practice with motives (regarding faith or fear) that an action stemming from lack creates more lack.

This "should" may be something that I do need to do.  But, as long as it feels like a should, there will be no energetic field to support it.  I must table this should and wait.

This is the hardest part about making this shift - THE WAITING.  Sometimes it can feel absolutely intolerable.  This is also a time when the should's voice can get loud or even more convincing.  

I have found it to be my job to give this voice all the time it needs to rise and fall.  Most importantly, without any action.  Again, THIS IS THE HARDEST PART of the process for me.  I call this the "white knuckling" stage.

Once the should voice has quieted and I am more peacefully receptive, I find that desire and intuition take on a flitting motion.  Inspirations flit quietly and gently across my consciousness until I take note and decide to take action.  At the time, these actions may seem insignificant or small and not worth following through with (more ego or fear here).  Once, I do follow through, however, there is a ripple effect that creates MORE inspiration.  This ripple effect also effects others in positive, long term ways.

“The Principle of Priority states (a) you must know the difference between what is urgent and what is important, and (b) you must do what’s important first.” - Steven Pressfield, The War of Art


I feel very grateful to feel connected to others who are doing this work.  I know there are more of us out there and I want to hear from YOU regarding your experiences surrounding this.

Fortunately (and unfortunately, to some extent), the self help, main stream culture has picked up on this idea.  This is good news because it exposes more people to new ideas on ways of being.  What it lacks, however, is creating/educating/holding a space for the time of non-action - the most challenging part of this process.  We are an action based culture and I believe the most powerful action MOST OF THE TIME is non action.

"The Way is ever without action, yet nothing is left undone." - Tao Te Ching, 37

If you liked this post, you may like Everyone else is jumping off this bridge. Why aren't you?


Popular Posts