the grief chronicles 6.

This fireball is about to graduate from high school this weekend.  From as early as I can remember, this gal has always been a bright and energetic light.  My first memory was of her as a two year old, calling our cat, Chester (poor kitty), "smelly cat" with Peter and giggling over and over again.

As soon as she knew she was pregnant with M, she called me to announce the news.  I remember exactly where I was standing at the time.  Ever since that day, this gal, here, was one of the primary topics of our conversations.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  TIME.  And, I GUARANTEE, she was just as proud of her on the last day of her life here on earth as she is, pictured, here, in the photograph above.

Grief really kicked up for me around this profound loss in March and it really hasn't lightened up.  I keep thinking I need to figure out how to get (most of ) it together so I can show up strong for the people much more affected than I.  

I do notice that I am spending a tremendous amount of energy trying to contort myself into some strong force that I just don't think is possible for me right now.  No wonder I am so exhausted. Why not put all that energy into being the best version of what I am now?

This is grief.  Yeah, that's what this is.

Bless us all as we enter another stage of loss and bless this gal's most promising future.  

photo credit: Lana