beginning again

I have started and stopped many times over the course of my creative life.  There has been at least one time where I gave up altogether and abandoned the idea of continuing.  There was another time where my intuition told me that to move forward in the direction I was going would only harm me and my creative process (but I did it anyway).

When taking these "detours" (as I like to call them), I was letting my fear run the show.  The irony of it all, was once I followed this fear (or gave it the power to make decisions for me), it took me AT LEAST two to four years to reroute and find my balance again.  Think of where that energy could have gone!  But, it's part of my story and I cannot deny this.  It's what makes me and makes up my work.

There are a lot of ways people can give up or give in to fear.  For me, these days, the fear comes in disguise with words like "responsibility" or "mid life".

Really?  It's come to that? 

So that reminds me of THIS.

But I digress.  You get it.  I know you do.

Now that the fear comes in disguise, it's easier to stay on track and continue to show up for the work.  But that doesn't mean I don't give up (in my mind) almost everyday.  I just need to decide to begin again.  Every Day.

Yesterday, I was looking through old journals from 2015 and I came across a guide for myself that I created to keep me from taking another detour.  I titled it "Claim the Win".

Some of the actions under this title are: 

Let myself be giddy with excitement.

Stand tall with my work (regardless of how I feel about it at the time). 

Promote and then let go.

Share what I do.

Act as if I have already won.

Embrace my authenticity and view this as an asset. 

Don't cut corners.