my top ten idiosyncrasies (for today)

1. I change clothes an average of 3xs a day and it's exhausting.  Yesterday, I had my painting clothes on in the am and then I changed clothes to go to the dentist.  I came home to do yard work (a different set of clothes was required) and then went off to yoga, changing yet again.  When I put my pjs on last night, it was anything but liberating.  I didn't want to enter my closet at all.

2. There is a very dark side of me.  Only my near and dears see this.  And when I am in it, I don't think I am going to be able to get out - ever.  It usually only lasts for a day or two but when it comes on, it comes on hard.  Sometimes I am generous enough to give myself some slack, write it off as being the life and times of needing to create and choosing to live the life of an artist.  Most of the time I don't.  It can feel like torture.

3. When I can sit in the sun and it's at least 70 degrees it can take the edge off anything.  If this rings true for you at all, I want to hear from you.  I have yet to meet anyone who truly comprehends.

4. When I am in the creative zone, I don't think about long term repercussions. I have permanently altered my front porch floor from making art.  Right now I can see pastel dusting my dining room.  My kitchen has footprints of gesso from my cat.  All of my clothes/shoes have come in contact with paint in some shape or form.   The only thing that eases my mind a bit around this (because, of course, all of these items drive me crazy when I am not in the zone) is seeing other artists workspace (watching Our City Dreams really helped).

5.  Transitions are really hard for me.  As much time as I spend dreading and wanting to postpone winter and the time change, it throws me off every time.  When I fly to another state (yeah, we aren't even talking international here, folks) I feel completely disoriented.  This is the reason I like driving to destinations.  I can acclimate slowly.

6.  If I don't have a good book to read, there can be trouble.  And I am really particular about what defines a good book.  I am without a good book right now and the waiting for the next right book to appear is also torture.

7. I rely heavily on creations that soothe my soul.  This doesn't go unnoticed.  I express so much gratitude for them.  The latest creation that I can't get enough of is the new PBS documentary, A Chef's Life.  Vivian is a breath of fresh air and when I enter the dark zone (see #2), she is actually one that can create a temporary lift.

8.  I get homesick for my best friends and sometimes feel like making the choice to hole up with them for the rest of my life would solve everything.

9. I want to find a cattle rancher who would embrace the idea of me visiting his/her cows.  I want to start establishing relationships with a particular few.

10. I wish I could commit to starting and finishing a sketchbook but I never have.