mourning

OK, the thing is here, this photo looks (to me) like it was taken in the middle of summer. Interestingly enough, this photo was taken this morning, on my kitchen counter as the sun (which we haven't seen very much of this winter) was shining through my kitchen window. It was taken before I walked my dog, Stella, in 4 layers (both top and bottom - no kidding) of clothing (through the sun, yes, but also through the chill of single digit temperatures). I think it's purely safe to say, right now, that I am mourning summer's absence. I am mourning the absence of carefree laughter, energy, heat, bare feet, cloud watching, crickets, sand, wind, waves, heat, porch sitting, long days, an endless variety of fresh produce, heat, etc. etc. etc.

I am mourning this more today than I think I ever truly have and, in this state of Minnesota, I have such a long way to go. The road ahead looks too long to walk. People may encourage me to take a vacation - to visit somewhere warm. The problem is, I want warm to be my life. I don't want a vacation of it. I want to live it and breathe it as part of my everyday life. What, on earth, am I going to do?