make a mess

lose all inhibitions and just make a mess.  

it's so difficult for me to do this.  most of the time I get so frustrated with myself because I can feel my own reins pulling me in (and I "obey").  

honor the days of creative freedom when 

what is "wasted" is just as important as what is left.  

trust that this is part of the process, creating another layer of the story.